I made a bad choice on Monday.

I chose to live in an attitude of frustration, anger, and selfishness.

A situation that had repeatedly turned out the way it did on Monday finally broke me.  A situation that I was frustrated and tired of not going the way I wanted or needed to happen.

My anger and selfishness ate away at me like termites.  I couldn’t fall asleep that night because as my brain shifted into drive in the silence of the sleeping world, I stewed again.  I became defensive for MY right.  My night was filled with dream filled tossing and I awoke tired and still selfish.  Still frustrated.

I asked the Lord to take it from me because I was in no position to get rid of it.  I relished in MY will.

I knew that being the first step, the next was that I needed to call my friend and apologize.  My will tried to rationalize that she didn’t know I’d spent the last 24 hours sitting in a kiddie pool filled with the injured aspects of me, myself, and I.  But nevertheless I knew I had to make that phone call.

So, with my stomach in knots I called.  I apologized for being frustrated and angry and selfish.

And I asked for forgiveness.

After I hung up with her I felt instant relief.  I was no longer angry at her.  I wasn’t concerned with what I wanted.  I was glad for a forgiving and understanding friend.

I realized…

there is freedom in apologizing.

I’m not sure if I’d ever experienced such freedom.  The binding shackles fell off like a sinking anchor.

If you’re the one sitting in the kiddie pool with your own injured aspects of me, myself, and I it’s time to get out of the pool.  Ask for God’s provision of grace and apologize.  Experience the freedom!