Off of the Middle
I have felt so off kilter this week. My days drowsily lived, filled with data entry, PO processing, spreadsheet manipulating, food eating, book reading, trying to put aside my will and dig into having Invitations with Jesus. With waking up at 4 every morning this week after nights like this:
it’s probably pretty much no wonder I’m feeling a little cattywompus. My brain feels foggy and I feel the tentacles of depression tickling my brain, today (yesterday for you) more than the past few days, and not getting restful sleep doesn’t help.
There is much I want to say here in the format of PrudyChick.com but the words can’t seem to leave my heart to display in 1′s and 0′s. A post that was started that I can’t wrap my mind and heart around but continue to see the data contained therein being worked out in my life and heart by God.
He is working deep. I’ve asked Him to. I don’t know if my will is warring against this working, causing my life to seem off of the middle or what.
In the midst of this I’m trying to live/operate grace and patience filled. For me a lot of the time this means sitting in my cube, ear buds in, trying to ignore the noise around me. It means a quieter Prudence on many different levels.
So I walk this walk off the middle of where I usually am. The phase will pass. I will feel less off kilter. I press on.
Everytime I see your gravatar it makes me smile. I think you have happy hair. Or, at the very least, a happy hair cut. It is delicious. Like you.
Sorry you have been off kilter! Maybe you just need to go look at your cute hair in the mirror, add a flower, and see what the rest of us already enjoy so much!
Thanks Lisa-Jo. Yes my hair does seem to be popular among my tweeple.
I’m doing better. Was doing better yesterday, I think it helped getting it all out there.
I agree you do have very cute hair! And what a sleep pattern…praying for some rest and less off-kilterness! Glad to be getting to know you a bit more
Me too Katy. Glad to connect with you after seeing you popping up on various blogs I read.
Can I just start by saying… I love that word ~ CATTYWOMPUS.
I’ve been feeling a little “wompus” too {as you read}… my peace is in seeking refuge in Him.
Keeping my eyes on My Shepherd to guide me in green pastures.
Press on through the Funk,
~Manda
When I read your post yesterday I was like hey at least we’re walking this together even if we are in different countries. How amazing it is that God not only walks with us but even connects us with other people to journey with. I’m doing better and pressing through the funk.
thanks for stopping by! i can totally relate to your world of POs and data. Happy to hear you are coming out of it, but i gotta ask – HOW do you know all that about your sleep patterns? ahhhmazing!
Hi Abby. It’s an app on my phone. I’ve known for a looonnnggg time that I don’t get restful sleep. I know the stats aren’t scientific but it explains some. If only I could take all that brain activity that’s going on when I sleep and write it out in ink I’m sure I’d have some great stories.
hi there! stopped here to say hey! so fun to meet you again via blog-world. love the look and content of your site! love that you are honestly writing about where you are right now, today, in the midst of being “off.” Girl, i hear ya! love your heart that beats for God and the poor . . . .
have a great weekend, laura
Thanks Laura!!
A quieter me takes some serious getting used to. I feel like my heart has slowed down any my thinking is shifting. It feels weird and good all at the same time.
How is the quieter you going? seen or heard God louder in those times?
hope you are getting rest and sleep this weekend!
Hey girl…
I know how you feel. Those episodes that take over – that follow us around like a cloud over my head… ugh. But I’m so thankful that you know it’ll pass. That the cloud will lift and you’ll see some sun again soon. But it doesn’t make the “now” easier… The only thing that helps me is trying to simplify my days until I get out of it. Hang on ’til you get there.
Um…looks like we’re twinkies in both nails & heart. Here’s a verse I read the other night when I couldn’t sleep:
“If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, to pride in you, do his best for you?”
Luke 12:28
Thinking of you & praying for you….
“trying to put aside my will and dig into having Invitations with Jesus”
I so get this… thinking of you today friend. Praying for you. Big hugs.
In the midst of your struggles, the words you have wrapped around THIS post are beautiful. Just wanted you to know that.
i’ve been feeling off-kilter for a long while. i think i’m battling depression but scared to really admit it never mind face it. which just leaves me feeling even more off-kilter.
all that to say… you aren’t alone, my friend. you’re never alone.
I know I’m not. I was telling someone that it seems even across miles and wifi and internet connections God brings us into community with people who at the same time are going through similar things. I think that flies in the face of all the people who say you can’t have community over the internet.
I’m praying for you. Course you know that. Some day you’ll be on kilter again. The healing takes time. I think in some ways long healing is probably good because it gets into the hidden spaces where you aren’t even aware you’re hurt.