Early yesterday morning I had the most beautiful dream. I awoke from it with a heart filled with joy and aching. I laid there in the quiet dark of early morning and cried out to God to move. It haunted me throughout the day and my cries echoed.
I’ve shared before our lack of local community, and lately the ache has grown more fierce. My heart aches, booming low like a kick drum within my chest.
I love the online community that I have. And I wouldn’t give them up for anything. A couple of them have become my closest friends and confidants over the last year. But I long for hands to hold as I walk this road called life. For shoulders able to catch tears of joy, frustration, and sorrow.
You see…my dream…was that Shawn and I were part of a community of like minded people that we did life with. It was truly a beautiful scene. The laughter still rings in my mind’s ears.
And my heart aches that we don’t have that. My spirit is starving for it. I can’t help but think that God gave me this dream because it’s His dream for us as well. We were created to be in community, and I can only imagine that if my heart aches as much as it does His hurts even more.
I know that He will answer. I know that He will provide. Like I said, He created us for community. In a sense I would say this dream could even be prophetic, even if the faces and the place are different, because I know He wants this for us.
oh, friend. my heart breaks for you & with you. i know this pain well. praying for you – i join in faith that this is simply a precursor to the community He has waiting for you & shawn. love you.
Thank you.
it WILL happen, you know. God’s so faithful. it took years [and a trip to africa!] for russ & i to find ours in austin, and i wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I struggle with community in real life. We’ve tried to get involved with community groups three times since we’ve moved to Nashvegas and all three times the groups fizzled out. I have some good contacts online who’ve become real life friends (the best man in my wedding is a guy I met online playing fantasy baseball) but I only have one dude locally I can really count on.
On your dream…yeah…that’s prophetic. The community you need is coming as the dream planted in your heart becomes less dream and more reality. I just know it.
I feel that often times us Christians are not getting involved enough and building a circle trust of friends. Community is so important. Christ came to save the world and yet, first thing he did was pick a handful of guys to build his community.
I can’t wait to hear what new community the Lord will give you. I’ll be praying.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am struggling with this as well. Know that you are not along, and as others have already said, God has that community for you there, and you will find it in time. And I know time is the hardest part of it all. You are in my prayers too.
Thanks Michelle.
I was just talking to my husband about this earlier today. I think over the past year after leaving my job at a church and being pregnant I’ve backed away from community, but my heart has been aching for it. I know the Lord in his faithfulness has put that ache for community there and that He will provide it.
He will provide both you and myself.
He has called us to community and He might just be closing some doors to open the right door to the type of community He wants us in. It will probably look better than we dreamed it to be.
Thanks for visiting Jessica. Yes, I’m positive it will look much better than we could ever dream.
oh friend!! how i wish we lived closer! my heart loves my online community and often i feel as if i am most real in this setting. maybe its because authenticity begets authenticity. . .and this online community is real. i love that.
i do have some community in real life, but not many people in my age bracket-mostly older women. which is not a bad thing! however, often times i feel as if in real life i have ‘to be’ something ((funny, ‘okay’, not such a debbie downer, etc)).
so thankful for you sweet friend. . .hugs across the miles.
sigh… I so wish we lived closer friend, so I could give you an IRL hug. love you.
Alison and I feel your pain. We left a church we loved 2 years ago over missional principles, but that also took us away from our church based small group. While some of those friendships have continued, the sense of common purpose and life together fades away more each day. I miss that connectedness (I am not sure if connectedness is a real word, but if it’s not, it should be). Will be praying for you and Shawn in this area!