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I was relistening to a message yesterday on my way to work.  In short the message is about being uncomfortable and using the gifts God has given you.  It is an amazing message and like I said I was driven to listen to it a second time which will probably turn into a third and fourth.  With all my thoughts of uncomfortableness lately messages like this drive it home and make me think.

As I was listening I realized that one of the first things I have to give up in my desire to be uncomfortable is my pride, and in my pride my selfishness.  My pride and selfishness will only hinder what God wants to do.  They will be roadblocks preventing me from even taking a step.

If I want to do one single thing for God, I have to be taken out of the equation.  A vessel is just that…a vessel.  An empty subject ready to be used by its owner.

For the last week, Shaun Groves has been in Kenya with other various bloggers documenting and sharing how Compassion International is serving and rescuing the people of Kenya.  When I say people I mean more than just the children that are sponsored through Compassion.  The sponsorship of these children changes their entire family’s lives.

Shaun is doing a very thought provoking image blog category while on this trip called Third World Dictionary.  Photographic images of everyday things you and I take for granted.  There was one image that really hit me especially hard.

It seems over the last year I’ve grown to hate doing laundry.  And that is only laundry for Shawn and I.  No children.  It just seems to be a bother.  Remembering to transfer it to the dryer and don’t even mention folding/putting it away.  Ahhhh.

That was until I saw this:

I’ve only had to do my laundry outside for a few months……and it was still done in a washing machine. I haven’t had to brave inclement weather to wash my clothes.  I’ve never washed my cloths in tubs smaller than a plastic kids swimming pool.  I’ve never washed my laundry in dirty water.

I felt convicted over my complaining when I have it so easy.  I printed out this picture and have hung it up in my laundry area.  A reminder of this advantage I have.  That I shouldn’t be complaining but should be grateful.

What is it that causes a 19 year old girl to pack up everything and move to South Africa?  Or a young woman to move to Uganda to be a Kindergarten teacher, only to have God move her to start an orphan child sponsorship program?  Or a man who when visiting South Korea was heart broken for the orphans and would start an organization that would change the lives of over a million children in third world nations?

For a few weeks now God has been laying on my heart that He wants me to be uncomfortable.  It is like that nagging little tickle in the back of your throat, seemingly always there.  The thing is, is that I WANT to be uncomfortable.  I’ve lived nearly 35 years worth of life being comfortable in church and not doing anything.  I want to change.  I want to make an impact on the world that God has placed me in.

­That – means I must be uncomfortable.

I’ve never been to Africa or South Korea but I’m pretty sure it isn’t comfortable to live or serve in a Christian ministry there.  It sure isn’t comfortable riding 3100 miles on a hard, skinny bike seat to raise money for Blood Water Mission – in the middle of summer – through PHOENIX.  Or smelling the constant reminder of death in Haiti as you dig through hundreds of pounds of concrete.

I realized yesterday that being uncomfortable is a hard thing to do (insert obligatory, “yeah duh” here).  But for me it isn’t the being uncomfortable, it’s the getting there.  Like I mentioned above I’ve had nearly 35 years worth of being comfortable.  My parents weren’t the type to live life spiritually uncomfortable.  We went to church, taught Sunday school, taught VBS day in day out.  That was my life growing up.  Now as of about a year or so ago God’s breaking the mold that has been my existence.  He’s given me a heart for the poor.  He’s made me to fall in love with India and long to see justice for the 50 million plus living in her slums.

I am praying now, with more fervor that God would continue to make me uncomfortable.  It is one of those prayers like praying for patience or humility.  It doesn’t come easily or without cost.  The end result though will be beautiful and for the glory of God alone.

I’ve been off Facebook and Twitter now for five days.  It has already been refreshing.  God is speaking and working in my life.  I’m hearing Him more clearly.

Since I still have that itch to hit the escape button of the hohum, mundane, and stress of work I’ve begun opening up YouVersion and reading a Psalm or two.  That is how I stumbled across the verses I posted a couple days ago.  I can guarantee that I’ve read and heard these verses before, but the Lord has been bringing them up repeatedly in my mind.

I am at a place in life right now where all does seem to have fallen in pleasant places.  Yet, as sure as you have, I have experienced not so pleasant places. Hardships, trials, dry & barren seasons, times when the grass on the other side wasn’t greener because there was just no grass to be seen.  However, even during those times my portion and my lot was in His hand, and the lines were in pleasant places even though I couldn’t see it.

And my inheritance is quite beautiful:

Death to life!

Brokenness to healing!

Shame to glory!

Filthy rags to those white as snow!

I continue to relish in this.  In my adoption.  In my inheritance.

That He loves me that much!!!

Take time today to consider your inheritance, and know that even though you may not be seeing pleasant places God still holds your cup.

I’ll post more on this a bit later but I wanted to share this gem with you.  It’s something I’ve been meditating on and relishing in…

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.  The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

(ESV)

Imagine if you will a field full of green grass and clover.  The sun is shining.  Birds are singing.  In the midst of this beautiful scene is a sheep nibbling on some tasty noms.  Said sheep dreamily looks up and notices the sun is now setting and she is all by herself.  Somewhere between bites of sweet clover her master and her fellow sheep moved on.

Have you ever felt that way?  One moment you’re enjoying the sweet companionship of Jesus and other believers and the next you’re sitting there wondering where the last few months (or in some cases years) went.  We’ve become so busy and preoccupied with doing that we fail to be moved.

We run through life.  Run through church.  Run through community – but we aren’t experiencing any of these things.  They are just things we do.

We may be even just running through times of intimacy with God.  We look up one day and we seem alone, exhausted, with the wolf howling at the door.

Picture again said sheep.  She frantically begins to look to her right and left turning around in aimless circles, the chilly wind cutting even between her voluptuous amounts of wool.  She sees a dark figure against the setting sun coming towards her.  Her little sheepy heart beats wildly.  Her master has come looking for her!!!  He lovingly scoops her up and carries her to the rest of the flock and the safety of his care.

No matter how preoccupied with doing, Jesus is always there to carry us back to the safety of His care.

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do?  Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.” Matthew 18:10-14 (NLT)

So, where are you?

This morning on my way to work I decided to kick it old school.  Soon Passion’s album Better is One Day was filling the four walls of my car at a loud volume.  I sang along to a few songs and skipped ahead to the title track – Better is One Day – my favorite song on the CD.  My thoughts drifted towards Heaven and worshipping Jesus there.

I love how the writer in Psalm 84:10 expresses it:

“Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”

As I was sitting in the drive thru at Starbucks my heart skipped a beat at the thought of being in Jesus’ presence.  I was filled with excitement at the joy that will be that day.

I was at a doctor’s appointment today and was dealing with some internal discontentedness while I waited to be seen.  The good thing was I recognized I was being discontent and immediately started praying that God would give me peace and take away the discontentment.  As I sat there I realized that this is something I have to continually surrender to Him on.  It isn’t something that I can turn to Him and say, “I’m handing this over to you.  You got it?  Good.” and move on.  There are things that have happened in my life that are that way, but this isn’t.

I know that when it is His will He will move.  My job is to trust, and wait patiently and expectantly.  I have come a long way from where I once stood with this thing, but constant surrender is going to be on the agenda until He accomplishes it.

I have felt so helpless lately.  It started a while ago seeing images of precious people living on nothing just trying to get by.

It came roaring at me two weeks ago with the earthquake in Haiti.  The images of poverty stricken, broken people floated before my eyes.  I didn’t close the websites or stop reading the Tweets because I wanted to look.

I wanted to be broken over these people.

Last Sunday at church God literally wrecked me.  Our pastor decided to forgo communion after the teaching and allow people to pray for Haiti while worship was led.  We watched this video done by Pastors Mark Driscoll & James McDonald who went to Haiti to help churches just days after the earthquake.  Within seconds of the video starting I was crying.  I hadn’t cried for Haiti yet.  All I could do the rest of the service was cry and plead to God to save:  spiritually and physically.

It isn’t just Haiti though.  It’s all children and families that are in devastating poverty.  That is what breaks my heart.  I want to argue with God and ask Him why are you allowing this to happen to your creation.  Why are you allowing the flesh and blood you wove together to be eaten away by diseases and malnutrition?

Today Shawn showed me pictures that Tony Morgan Tweeted from his trip to Burkina Faso through Compassion.  All I wanted to do besides cry for these children, was bring them into my home and take care of them.  Love them.

I know it isn’t an accident that God has placed these feelings in my heart.  I’ve pleaded with Him over and over to break my heart for the things that break His.  This is an answer to prayer.  Yet, I still feel so helpless.  We sponsor our precious, beautiful little Nikita in India and fully plan on sponsoring more in the future.  Yet, I still feel so helpless.  I pray.  We donate to Haiti, and yet…  I feel like there is so much more I could do and don’t know how or what.

I just want to be open to what He has for Shawn and I.  I guess my feeling helpless means I just lean on Him all that much more and He’ll be the work in me that moves my hands the way they need to be moved.

In the light of tragedies we always seem to understand just how blessed we are by God.  My heart has been exceptionally thankful lately.  Last night we had a tremendous storm here in Phoenix.  We got an inch of rain over night.  As I got ready for bed I listened to the downpour that was occurring and could only thank God that I have a house with four walls and roof that doesn’t leak.  I wasn’t out on the street trying to find a semi dry, warm place to sleep.  I was about to crawl into my dry comfy bed with four layers of blankets.  I haven’t lost everything that was really nothing to begin with.  We are blessed.

Take away the superficial stuff your thankful for.  When you get down to the nitty gritty what does your heart cry out to God in praises of thanksgiving?

Here are some of mine:

1.  My salvation and the undeserved grace and mercy God has given me.

2.  I have a home.  Thousands don’t have a place to sleep at night except a dirty corner in the street (if they’re lucky).

3.  I have a job.  Again many don’t.  I’ve been blessed with a job I really like.  My co-workers can drive me batty but that’s part of having a job.

4.  My husband.  After nearly nine years (in May) of marriage my husband loves my more than he did nine years ago.  With all my faults, my car accidents, my yelling at him it is apparent he’s fallen more in love with me and I with him.

Your turn…

Psalm 138:1 – 3 (NLT)

I give you thanks, O Lord , with all my heart;
I will sing your praises before the gods.
I bow before your holy Temple as I worship.
I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed
by all the honor of your name.
As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.