prudychick.com

My heart is always torn when I think about the sacrifice Christ made on the cross.  If I’m going to be honest it can be difficult at times to accept that He loves me and wanted fellowship & reconciliation with me so much that He endured a shameful, excruciating death.  The nails and thorns and bones and rocks and leather that pierced His unmarred, blemish free flesh was done for the sanctification and redemption of you and I.

On that dark, gruesome day of Passover as the blood of sheep and goats was spilled over the altar in the temple, Genesis 3:15 was fulfilled.  Victory was tasted as the angels danced for joy in Heaven.

This was a bulletin Shawn did for Easter a few years ago.  It is one of my all time favorite things he’s designed.  Hope your Easter is not only fun and blessed, but also filled with introspect of Christ’s sacrifice for you.

I also recommend reading/checking out this post by Alece over at Grit and Glory.

Yesterday was the first day in four months that I wore a normal shoe without arch supports in my left shoe or an orthodic boot.

I’ve learned a few things about walking in the last few months.

Sometimes, it takes patience.
Sometimes, it’s painful.
Sometimes, you need a little help.

Sometimes, taking a step is scary.

In the past week and pretty much the last few months I keep turning over and over in my head not walking in fear.  Conversations with Shawn, blog posts other people have posted.  It keeps coming back like a little bouncy ball.

I’m learning that I’m not as acceptable to change as I thought I was.  Maybe it’s the skeptic that has grown in me since marrying a pessimist.  I obviously don’t want to walk in fear.  We are commanded not to fear.

Fear is not only immobilizing but can be convoluted also.  What we chalk up to “waiting on God” in many cases is fear.  Fear to take a step into the unknown.  Fear of leaving our comfort zone.

When we walk in fear we do not walk in joy or faith.  We are relying on ourselves and our ability to discern a situation.  We cannot grow when we walk in fear.

So what are our next steps?

To walk justly and in mercy.  To trust my steps to be ordained by Him.  Placing my cares, fears, worries, troubles, late night wonderments at His feet.

Learning to not walk in fear is part of our sanctification.  That road is is not always easy, but it must be walked.

I’ve worn glasses since I was in the first or second grade.  Big, thick glasses.  Lenses that faded from dark to light depending on if I was in the sun.  Lenses with tri-color tinting cause in 1983 that was as cool as the perm my dad had.  The summer I turned 10 I had to start wearing contacts.  Hard ones.  I vividly remember taking them out for swim lessons at the city pool and then putting them back in.  The little pink zip pouch I kept my case and solution in.

I’m blind (literally legally).

I’m reminded of this every morning.  I wear a watch to bed so in the first light of morning I can squint at it to see the time.  I’m reminded every time I get lent, dust, eye goobers under my contacts.  I’m reminded of this every time I have to get an inch away from something to see it without my glasses or contacts.

My sister-in-law, Brie, works for a lasik center and is always nagging me that I should get lasik.  I’ve considered, seriously at times.  But a couple things always keep me from doing so.  One of those is fear.  My eyesight is already bad, if something goes wrong I’m seriously screwed.  Oh and even if your eyeball is “asleep” your brain still knows what’s going on.

I have another more important reason for not doing it.  More important to me.  I just believe it is something I’m not supposed to do.  I’ve not been able to see as long as I can remember.  I can’t recall any moment in my life where I could see without the aid of glasses or contacts – well maybe that day in Kindergarten where a classmate stole my milk money.

There will be a day I will see though!!

…and that is why I refuse.  One day I will blink, I will open my eyes first thing in the morning, I will open my eyes from prayer and the first thing I see without the use of outside sources will be the face of my Savior.  I will have healing.  I’m excited for that day.

——

There are somethings though, I refuse to be blind to anymore.  The hurting.  Those in poverty.  The outcast.  They say ignorance is bliss, but I don’t want to be blissful when it comes to the things that break God’s heart.  I want to be broken with eyes wide open.

I want to cry.

I want to see.

I don’t want to be ignorant.

And as a friend reminded me just now, I don’t want to forget.

If I proclaim the greatness of God it is hard to elevate myself.  If I speak of the works and majesty of God it is hard to speak of myself.

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High. – Psalm 7:17

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? – Psalm 8: 3 & 4

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you. – Psalm 16:1 & 2

I love you, O Lord, my strength. – Psalm 18:1

O Lord, I love the habitation of your house and the place where your glory dwells. – Psalm 26:8

Ascribe to the Lord, O heavenly beings, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength. Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness. – Psalm 29:1 & 2

Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. – Psalm 31:21

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. – Psalm 103:1-5

(All passages ESV)

I was relistening to a message yesterday on my way to work.  In short the message is about being uncomfortable and using the gifts God has given you.  It is an amazing message and like I said I was driven to listen to it a second time which will probably turn into a third and fourth.  With all my thoughts of uncomfortableness lately messages like this drive it home and make me think.

As I was listening I realized that one of the first things I have to give up in my desire to be uncomfortable is my pride, and in my pride my selfishness.  My pride and selfishness will only hinder what God wants to do.  They will be roadblocks preventing me from even taking a step.

If I want to do one single thing for God, I have to be taken out of the equation.  A vessel is just that…a vessel.  An empty subject ready to be used by its owner.

For the last week, Shaun Groves has been in Kenya with other various bloggers documenting and sharing how Compassion International is serving and rescuing the people of Kenya.  When I say people I mean more than just the children that are sponsored through Compassion.  The sponsorship of these children changes their entire family’s lives.

Shaun is doing a very thought provoking image blog category while on this trip called Third World Dictionary.  Photographic images of everyday things you and I take for granted.  There was one image that really hit me especially hard.

It seems over the last year I’ve grown to hate doing laundry.  And that is only laundry for Shawn and I.  No children.  It just seems to be a bother.  Remembering to transfer it to the dryer and don’t even mention folding/putting it away.  Ahhhh.

That was until I saw this:

I’ve only had to do my laundry outside for a few months……and it was still done in a washing machine. I haven’t had to brave inclement weather to wash my clothes.  I’ve never washed my cloths in tubs smaller than a plastic kids swimming pool.  I’ve never washed my laundry in dirty water.

I felt convicted over my complaining when I have it so easy.  I printed out this picture and have hung it up in my laundry area.  A reminder of this advantage I have.  That I shouldn’t be complaining but should be grateful.

What is it that causes a 19 year old girl to pack up everything and move to South Africa?  Or a young woman to move to Uganda to be a Kindergarten teacher, only to have God move her to start an orphan child sponsorship program?  Or a man who when visiting South Korea was heart broken for the orphans and would start an organization that would change the lives of over a million children in third world nations?

For a few weeks now God has been laying on my heart that He wants me to be uncomfortable.  It is like that nagging little tickle in the back of your throat, seemingly always there.  The thing is, is that I WANT to be uncomfortable.  I’ve lived nearly 35 years worth of life being comfortable in church and not doing anything.  I want to change.  I want to make an impact on the world that God has placed me in.

­That – means I must be uncomfortable.

I’ve never been to Africa or South Korea but I’m pretty sure it isn’t comfortable to live or serve in a Christian ministry there.  It sure isn’t comfortable riding 3100 miles on a hard, skinny bike seat to raise money for Blood Water Mission – in the middle of summer – through PHOENIX.  Or smelling the constant reminder of death in Haiti as you dig through hundreds of pounds of concrete.

I realized yesterday that being uncomfortable is a hard thing to do (insert obligatory, “yeah duh” here).  But for me it isn’t the being uncomfortable, it’s the getting there.  Like I mentioned above I’ve had nearly 35 years worth of being comfortable.  My parents weren’t the type to live life spiritually uncomfortable.  We went to church, taught Sunday school, taught VBS day in day out.  That was my life growing up.  Now as of about a year or so ago God’s breaking the mold that has been my existence.  He’s given me a heart for the poor.  He’s made me to fall in love with India and long to see justice for the 50 million plus living in her slums.

I am praying now, with more fervor that God would continue to make me uncomfortable.  It is one of those prayers like praying for patience or humility.  It doesn’t come easily or without cost.  The end result though will be beautiful and for the glory of God alone.

I’ve been off Facebook and Twitter now for five days.  It has already been refreshing.  God is speaking and working in my life.  I’m hearing Him more clearly.

Since I still have that itch to hit the escape button of the hohum, mundane, and stress of work I’ve begun opening up YouVersion and reading a Psalm or two.  That is how I stumbled across the verses I posted a couple days ago.  I can guarantee that I’ve read and heard these verses before, but the Lord has been bringing them up repeatedly in my mind.

I am at a place in life right now where all does seem to have fallen in pleasant places.  Yet, as sure as you have, I have experienced not so pleasant places. Hardships, trials, dry & barren seasons, times when the grass on the other side wasn’t greener because there was just no grass to be seen.  However, even during those times my portion and my lot was in His hand, and the lines were in pleasant places even though I couldn’t see it.

And my inheritance is quite beautiful:

Death to life!

Brokenness to healing!

Shame to glory!

Filthy rags to those white as snow!

I continue to relish in this.  In my adoption.  In my inheritance.

That He loves me that much!!!

Take time today to consider your inheritance, and know that even though you may not be seeing pleasant places God still holds your cup.

I’ll post more on this a bit later but I wanted to share this gem with you.  It’s something I’ve been meditating on and relishing in…

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.  The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

(ESV)

Imagine if you will a field full of green grass and clover.  The sun is shining.  Birds are singing.  In the midst of this beautiful scene is a sheep nibbling on some tasty noms.  Said sheep dreamily looks up and notices the sun is now setting and she is all by herself.  Somewhere between bites of sweet clover her master and her fellow sheep moved on.

Have you ever felt that way?  One moment you’re enjoying the sweet companionship of Jesus and other believers and the next you’re sitting there wondering where the last few months (or in some cases years) went.  We’ve become so busy and preoccupied with doing that we fail to be moved.

We run through life.  Run through church.  Run through community – but we aren’t experiencing any of these things.  They are just things we do.

We may be even just running through times of intimacy with God.  We look up one day and we seem alone, exhausted, with the wolf howling at the door.

Picture again said sheep.  She frantically begins to look to her right and left turning around in aimless circles, the chilly wind cutting even between her voluptuous amounts of wool.  She sees a dark figure against the setting sun coming towards her.  Her little sheepy heart beats wildly.  Her master has come looking for her!!!  He lovingly scoops her up and carries her to the rest of the flock and the safety of his care.

No matter how preoccupied with doing, Jesus is always there to carry us back to the safety of His care.

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do?  Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.” Matthew 18:10-14 (NLT)

So, where are you?