Nine years of struggles.
Nine years of fighting for future years.
Nine years making a home.
Nine years of love.
On May 26th Shawn and I celebrated nine years of marriage. The good times, and the bad ones. God has blessed our marriage more than I could have dreamed. I love this man more than I did that day when I walked down the aisle. The things I’ve seen God do in His life & heart makes me fall for him all over again.
This morning I got up at the normal 5 am to let the dogs out of their crates to go outside and go potty. As I was doing so I thought of Shawn’s and my marriage. I was thinking that we have a pretty easy marriage. Easier compared to a lot out there. It is of course in no way shape or form perfect, or filled solely with sunshine and bubble gum. But it’s good. Even great at times.
I just read a headline regarding the Jesse James/Sandra Bullock breakup. He was being quoted that “He threw his marriage away.” I was like yeah. You did.
For some reason most couples in which one spouse had an affair, refuse to reconcile. This is of course especially evident with celebrities. Whether the spouse who cheated apologizes or not, the marriage is over and the family is left in ruins. Neither party is willing to try again, to repent, and do what it takes to make the marriage work a second time.
Over the past few months I’ve seen how God can begin to heal and cause reconciliation in affair ridden marriages. Couples who have come out on the better side, working vigorously with God’s help to make their marriage work a second time.
Chad & Sarah Markley are one of those couples. Sarah was one of the first people whose story I read. Chad and Sarah have taken great measures to insure the safety of their marriage. Click the link on Sarah’s name and watch the video. Listen to what they have to say has a couple, five and a half years after she admitted her affair.
Seth & Amber Haines. Amber’s story was the first one I read. Amber’s words blew me away that God can reconcile broken marriages.
Brian & Jenni Clayville. I’ve only somewhat recently become familiar with Jenni’s story. Jenni had been in an affair for two years when she finally came clean, yet she and Brian are an amazing testimony to God’s healing. On February 11, Brian re-proposed to Jenni and tomorrow in front of family & friends that have come as far as Australia will renew their vows.
God never intended for husband and wife to separate. These couples marriages have spoken volumes to me. God can and does heal marriages. If only more people would realize that. If only more people would put aside their pride and apologize (repent) and forgive.
The last thing I want to share is something that Chad said in the video. He said that their secret was “they were willing to do whatever it took to make it work.” That is key to every marriage not just ones that are rebounding from an affair. Marriage takes work, but it’s worth every bit of work.
I made a bad choice on Monday.
I chose to live in an attitude of frustration, anger, and selfishness.
A situation that had repeatedly turned out the way it did on Monday finally broke me. A situation that I was frustrated and tired of not going the way I wanted or needed to happen.
My anger and selfishness ate away at me like termites. I couldn’t fall asleep that night because as my brain shifted into drive in the silence of the sleeping world, I stewed again. I became defensive for MY right. My night was filled with dream filled tossing and I awoke tired and still selfish. Still frustrated.
I asked the Lord to take it from me because I was in no position to get rid of it. I relished in MY will.
I knew that being the first step, the next was that I needed to call my friend and apologize. My will tried to rationalize that she didn’t know I’d spent the last 24 hours sitting in a kiddie pool filled with the injured aspects of me, myself, and I. But nevertheless I knew I had to make that phone call.
So, with my stomach in knots I called. I apologized for being frustrated and angry and selfish.
And I asked for forgiveness.
After I hung up with her I felt instant relief. I was no longer angry at her. I wasn’t concerned with what I wanted. I was glad for a forgiving and understanding friend.
I realized…
I’m not sure if I’d ever experienced such freedom. The binding shackles fell off like a sinking anchor.
If you’re the one sitting in the kiddie pool with your own injured aspects of me, myself, and I it’s time to get out of the pool. Ask for God’s provision of grace and apologize. Experience the freedom!
“I’m Impressed” is a blog series featuring bloggers that have touched my life in an extraordinary way. They come from different walks of life and each have a phenomenal story to tell. Read their story and ask God what He can impress upon you from their lives.
When I first checked out Git’z blog, I didn’t stick around. For some reason even though I was heart broken for this lovely lady, I just didn’t click. However, that slowly changed. Something inside did click one day and the next thing I knew I was adding her to my daily reads.
Here was a kind hearted, compassionate woman who was enduring more than most do in their lifetime. One of the things that stands out to me most about Sara is the amount of grace she has. While her disease reigns her life she doesn’t allow it to rule it. What I mean is she doesn’t play the victim. She’s open with her readers about her daily life and the struggles she endures but she doesn’t point a waggering finger at God and blame Him.
I’m not saying she’s never questioned God, because even the best of us would. But she lives like the Apostle Paul. She trusts that God can heal her but for His greater purpose has allowed her this “thorn in the side”. And if that reason is only to show some people across the globe the grace that she can have and the endurance that He gives her than his purpose is being fulfilled.
One day Gitzy will be healed and will be whole. She will be able to walk, run, and dance free of the pain that has taken up residence in her body; and I guarantee you she will not dance alone. Her family and friends (readers) that live across the world will dance with her.
Over the months that I’ve daily read her blog I’ve grown to love her. God has made her dear in my heart.
What Gitz has impressed upon me is to endure in the most difficult of times and to live my live full of grace. Like her I have a choice to allow my circumstances rule my life or to trust in God.
I’ve really struggled with writing this post. When Jenny asked if I’d be willing to write a guest blog one day while she was in Africa, I jumped with both feet into the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I just love (relearning to love) writing.
But I’ve struggled with what to write. Jenny selected the topic of newness and I figured sure I can do that. But over the last week as I’ve thought and prayed about what to write about my mind has been blank. I don’t seem to have a definite newness story. I didn’t have an affair and can now rejoice & celebrate reconciliation with my husband, who proposed to me after we divorced our previous marriage. I haven’t traveled extensively and seeming each new day a new place, a new adventure. My husband didn’t have an affair and leave me. Trusting God as I relearn this newness of single life.
Continue reading here…
My mother went through a lot of crap with me especially during my teen years (who’s didn’t?). Things may have been difficult but she has never stopped loving me.
My mother-in-law raised three boys. I know that in part, my husband is who he is today because of things she instilled in him when he was growing up.
Earlier this year I picked up painting as a hobby. I decided this year to do a painting for each mom.
This one is for my mom.
This one for my mother-in-law.
Love – Shawn & Prudence
I don’t play the lottery or gamble. I prefer to keep what little money I have rather than to lose it to a game of chance. But I wonder at times just what would I do if I did ever win a huge lottery jackpot.
I just watched this video of a couple in LA who won $266M. Yes 266 followed by six zeros. What made me watch it was the tagline that she is not going to quit her job.
$266M lottery winner ‘just kept working’
So…
You’ve just hit the jackpot. How are you going to spend, invest your millions of dollars? Pay off debt? Buy a car? House? RV? Island? Are you going to donate to a charity? Will you quit your job or keep working or go work somewhere that doesn’t pay much specifically for the joy of it?
Me?
I’d keep working. Or go work at some place like Starbucks or a non-profit where it really didn’t matter what I made. I’d like to say I’d be super-spiritual and automatically give 10% to my church, and hopefully I would. I’d pay off my house and my car, but I don’t think that I’d run out and buy new ones. My little Corolla works just dandy and my house is sufficient for our needs. I’d help our families pay off their homes. I’d use some for some dreams Shawn and I have and rest in the fact that we don’t have to save and save and scrounge up the money. I’d give a large, anonymous donation to Compassion and sponsor more kids. And I’d invest. I’d basically continuing living in the means I’m in now. (at least I hope I would)
You’re turn:
Saturday Shawn and I met my family up at the Grand Canyon for a little family time and to honor my Granny. It is a three hour drive for us and Shawn asked if I’d mind listening to Jon Acuff‘s Stuff Christians Like. I said sure.
I didn’t realize that over the next 6 or so hours (there & back) I would laugh so hard. Jon is hilarious with his little quips, his wittiness, but also extremely thought-provoking thoughts. I drove on the way up north and there were times I literally wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel I was laughing so hard. Don’t worry I kept my eyes on the road and my head off the steering wheel.
If you haven’t checked out the book or the audio book do it.
I was not asked by Jonathan Acuff, Zondervan, or any other entity to review this book. I did not, will not receive anything from this review.
A few weeks ago Shawn and I started watching a fantastic DVD series called Planet Earth. It contains amazing photography and video footage of…well…earth. Though the science behind it is of course evolution when talking about how long the earth had been around, but I have been completely humbled by the awesomeness of our creator.
As with most nature documentaries the “circle of life” was brought up and enter from backstage African Hunting Dogs hunting Impalas. The Dogs stayed hidden, spying their prey, inching closer and closer till the most opportune time to strike. They attacked the unsuspecting prey which of course ran for dear life.
The narrator explains that the African Hunting Dogs are the most efficient hunters in Africa, working as a team seeking to destroy. Each dog breaking off simply to surround the hunted.
In the video the Impala’s only saving grace was jumping into a lake treading water while the African Hunting Dogs waited and then left to go sup on an Impala whose fortune was not so good.
As I watched this I could help but think of my own life. I’m just sitting here minding my own business when out of no where I’m attacked. And I’m running.
What am I looking to, to be my saving grace? Friends? My husband? A glass of wine?
I have noticed over the last couple weeks that when I ran to God, ran to His Word my attitude, my unbridled tongue got better. The moment I stopped engulfing myself in the wisdom of the Bible and the teachings reminding me that my tongue is like the fires of Hell my attitude started going bad again.
I’m learning where to run. To continuously allow myself to be engulfed by the Word of God.
I often struggle with the fact that I don’t blog everyday. Some part of me thinks I should. I mean everyone else does. I think part of the reason I don’t write everyday is I want to share my heart with you. I’m grateful that you guys pop over here for a couple minutes to read something I think is worthy of going on the internets.
Jenny over at JennyRain is having a fluffer-nutter week. It’s like marshmallow fluff minus the stickies.
I decided since today is Friday I’d do a fluffy little number. In an order to allow you to get to know me a little bit here are some random things about me:
♦ I was born in Southern California. We moved to Arizona when I was three for a number of reasons: 1. My health, 2. Dad lost his job, & 3. The landlord of our apartment kicked us out so he could give the apt. to his daughter.
♦ I grew up in a town of 500.
♦ When I was 14 we moved to a town of probably less than 8,000 at the time.
♦ I love the big city. It would literally take God moving me back to a small city for me to consider ever living in one again.
♦ I graduated from college with my Associate of Arts in 1995. I was the first female in my family to do so.
♦ I wanted to be a lot of things when I grew up including but not limited to a teacher, mom, nurse, model (which I did for a few years. I like eating & not exercising so that doesn’t work well for me), and a journalist.
♦ I was planning to get my BA in Journalism, but God closed that door. I miss writing and this blog has given me a love again for it.
♦ I’m a fairly picky eater and do not eat onions, mushrooms, anything that lives under water, cabbage, & more; but I love things most don’t….like beets.
♦ I have one brother, Joshua. He’s married to Jennifer.
♦ I have two brothers-in-law and three sisters-in-law: Collin & Brie; Ryan & Nina; Jenn (mentioned above).
♦ I have six (yes six) nephews: Jacob, Caleb, Dade, Cole, Deacon, & Malachai. No neices (yet).
♦ I have really only one vice and that is coffee. I usually only drink decaf (insert astonished gasps here). I really just like coffee no matter the caffeine content.
♦ I’ve been married for nearly nine years.
♦ I grew up believing that I’d accepted Jesus when I was around five. However, when I was 16 I started having doubts if I really had. I wanted to make sure. So at 16 I made sure.
♦ My favorite color is green. All shades except army green, it’s not as favorite.
♦ My favorite animal is the frog.
♦ We have two Chihuahus: Lengua & Zeus
♦ I love funky shoes & tights. I miss wearing heels from my surgery. Hopefully one day again. That or I’ll be selling the ones I own. 
♦ Until I was about high school age I refused to make the dip (bowl) in my mashed potatoes for my gravy. I remember saying for sanitary reasons. One day I just up and changed. Don’t know why.
♦ Love (l-o-v-e) dark chocolate. Peanut and peanut butter M&M’s.
♦ Love marshmallows & things associated with marshmallows (i.e., Peeps, rice krispie bars, s’mors, etc.)
Well I think that is enough fluff for now. Hope you have a Happy Friday! 
