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When He Reaches 8606.2 Miles

December 13, 2011 in Compassion Int'l, India, Life, Nikita with 10 Comments

It was a week and a half ago and I was still fighting blinding anger.  I wasn’t at the indifferent stage yet in this cycle I’d been running, and consideration was the furthest thing from my mind.

I’d made accusations against God based on feelings that have been ravaging me.  Accusations of abandonment, of the lack of caring.

We were scheduled to volunteer at an event for Compassion and honestly I didn’t want to go.  I wanted to be home, warm, cozied on my couch with my book.  I didn’t want to have to put on a “happy, Jesus is awesome & compassionate” face.  [just being honest here]

I was finishing up my day at work when I got a text from Shawn.  We had a message from our sponsored child.

If you don’t sponsor, or even if you do – these letters have the ability to make a bad day good, and even bring joy when all you feel is anger.

When I got home we opened the letter.  Inside was an anniversary card from our sponsor daughter Nikita for our tenth anniversary.  My eyes brimmed with salty tears and quickly overflowed.

The card was accompanied by a letter.  With my eyelashes still damp from tears I read that she loves math, and I think how smart this beautiful young lady is.  She sends kisses and hugs and I think how loved we are.

And she closes her letter with a verse.  This is the first time in two and a half years.  I read the illuminated text written by a 11 year old girl half a world away, and an overflow of sloppy tears inundate my cheeks again.

I wonder at how a young girl who wrote this letter about two months prior (a month or so before this all started happening in our lives) would choose this verse for a letter that would arrive at this season in our lives.

My mind floats to God, and I believe that it was at this point that my shell first started to crack.

It still amazes me that God reached from the other side of the globe, that months prior to this season even starting He moved upon the heart of a little Indian girl to minister to us.

Happy Birthday Nikita

May 9, 2011 in Family, India, Nikita with 4 Comments

Today a beautiful girl turns 11.

She means more to us than we could ever explain.

She is like a daughter.

Happy Birthday Nikita!!

Heart Conditions

February 16, 2011 in Guest Blogging, Life, Nikita with 10 Comments

My daily reading plan includes three chapters in the Old Testament and one in the New Testament.  I’m currently reading through Genesis, 2 Chronicles, Psalm, & Acts.

Last night I was reading 2 Chronicles 18.  It is the story of King Ahab, the king of Israel and King Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah.  In short King Ahab asks King Jehoshaphat to go to war with him.  Both kings bring in their prophets to ask if they should go into battle and if they will be successful.  All the prophets say that they should go and that they will be successful.  Only King Jehoshaphat’s prophet tells King Ahab that he will die in battle.  Needless to say, Ahab dies.  At the beginning of chapter 19, a different prophet comes to King Jehoshaphat and rebukes him.

The rebuke was that he helped the wicked and love those who hate the Lord.  A similar rebuke happened in chapter 16 of Jehoshaphat’s father, King Asa.

King Asa ended up getting a serious foot disease.  The chapter ends with Asa’s death.

I was thinking about the difference in the rebukes.  They are similar, but different.  They were delivered by the same man.  Asa receives a serious health condition.  Jehoshaphat receives an encouragement.

The only major difference I can see is the difference of heart.  Asa refused to repent.  Samuel doesn’t say whether Jehoshaphat repented or not, but as far as I can tell with what I’ve read he must have.

Lack of repentance has serious consequences.  God is always ready to forgive.  Why do we refuse to repent especially when we know the consequences may be worse than if we did repent?

Worth All the Money and More

October 6, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, Family, India, Life, Nikita with 6 Comments

I want to scoff at those who think child sponsorship doesn’t work.  Those who think that their money can be spent better elsewhere than on those who Jesus commanded us to take care of.

Yesterday we received an updated picture of Nikita.  The young girl we sponsor through Compassion.  We’ve sponsored her for nearly a year and a half now.  I love that God has allowed her to be a part of our lives.  This young lady who loves dogs, calls us Uncle and Aunt, always sends hugs and kisses for us and our doggies.  This young lady who in part we think of almost like a daughter.

The photo we received yesterday showed her with a study desk that she was able to buy with money we’d sent for her birthday.  The initial picture in her sponsorship packet show a sad, maybe even scared little girl has been replaced with a smiling, happy young lady.  As soon as I saw her picture my eyes brimmed with tears.  I couldn’t believe the change.

Sponsorship works.  It works for them and it works for those who sponsor.  Every monthly amount, every birthday gift, every family gift, every care package with stickers, coloring pages, paper dolls, puppets, construction paper, little books…..

All of it is worth it!

I ♥ Compassion

September 21, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, Faith, Family, Life, Nikita, On Mission with 0 Comments

One of the biggest changes I’ve seen in my life from walking this going on 4-year journey of waiting, changing, waiting, readjustment, waiting has been God’s revamping my attitude of those in poverty.

What started out as a small flame erupted into a burning desire to rescue those in poverty when we started sponsoring Nikita.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it till the day I die, sponsorship changes YOUR life.  Allowances you made before, you’re no longer willing to make.  Your perspective changes.

I love what Compassion does.  I love how they minister to not only the children who are part of their services but their whole family.  What touches the child doesn’t stop the moment the leave Compassion’s Child Development Centers.  They carry it home held in precious little hands & hearts.  I love how as I sleep at night this beautiful young lady is being ministered to spiritually, physically, emotionally.  I really do ♥ Compassion!!

As I wrestle with just how God will accomplish my dream to be a rescuer I do what I know I can right now.  I sponsor and both Shawn and I are praying about one or both of us becoming Child Advocates.

Do you sponsor?  If so what organization, and where does your child(ren) live?

जन्मदिन फलाफूला

May 12, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, Family, India, Nikita with 1 Comment

Saturday night, I was lying in bed waiting for the pleasant presence of sleep to overwhelm me.  I was thinking about blog posts I needed to get up.  I realized it was Sunday, May 09th, in Nagpur, India.

In the quiet of my dark bedroom, with Chihuahuas nestled in their crates I mentally began to sing:

“Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Nikita!!
Happy birthday to you!”

It was officially her birthday, though it was still May 08th in my bedroom.

Nikita, the little girl we sponsor in India through Compassion turned 10 on May 09th.

I wish I’d gotten a cupcake to split with Shawn for her.  Maybe next year.

Painting I did for Nikita for her birthday.

(watercolors on watercolor paper.  her favorite color is blue.)

जन्मदिन फलाफूला

(Happy Birthday)

April.30.2009

April 30, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, Family, Nikita with 9 Comments

I know that certain dates can change your life.  Your wedding day.  The day your child is born.  The day you get that job.  However, I didn’t realize on the evening of April 30, 2009 that this date would forever change my life.

It rocketed my perspective and my desires to a completely other place than they’d ever been before.

More specifically, it took my heart and shipped it to a slum outside Nagpur, India.

On April 30, 2009 Shawn and I decided to sponsor our first child through Compassion due largely in part because of this Bloggers Trip (Anne‘s posts had my crying like a slobbering fool).  We always say that sponsoring her was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.  And we’re completely serious.  I didn’t think that sponsoring Nikita would change my life, I thought we’d change hers.  Provide her nutritious meals, schooling, health checkups, etc.  But she’s changed ours in so many ways.  They way we are choosing to live our lives.  What we find important.

Sponsoring her has made me fall in love with India.  Praying that God would redeem and save India.  That He would break apart the hierarchy of the caste system and open the eyes of the leaders to the poor dying outside their major cities.

I can’t believe she’s been apart of our lives for a year already.  We do our best to write her often and send gifts.  I want her to be the little girl that always gets something from her sponsors.

I pray for her salvation and that of her parents and two sisters and brother.  This is hugely important to me.

I wear this ring as a reminder of her.  To pray for her and her family and her friends.

She is as much part of our family as our own child would be.  Even across thousands of miles.

As part of celebrating we sent her some special gifts.

A card, a little wallet size card that reminds her she’s special, Disney Princess stickers, My Little Pony coloring pages, monkey finger puppets I found in the Target Dollar Spot, and a beautiful prayer Shawn wrote for her.

We celebrate this day with great joy and pray that we will continue to celebrate for many, many years.

Happy anniversary our dear Nikita.

Being Uncomfortable

March 4, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, Faith, India, Life, Nikita, On Mission with 2 Comments

What is it that causes a 19 year old girl to pack up everything and move to South Africa?  Or a young woman to move to Uganda to be a Kindergarten teacher, only to have God move her to start an orphan child sponsorship program?  Or a man who when visiting South Korea was heart broken for the orphans and would start an organization that would change the lives of over a million children in third world nations?

For a few weeks now God has been laying on my heart that He wants me to be uncomfortable.  It is like that nagging little tickle in the back of your throat, seemingly always there.  The thing is, is that I WANT to be uncomfortable.  I’ve lived nearly 35 years worth of life being comfortable in church and not doing anything.  I want to change.  I want to make an impact on the world that God has placed me in.

­That – means I must be uncomfortable.

I’ve never been to Africa or South Korea but I’m pretty sure it isn’t comfortable to live or serve in a Christian ministry there.  It sure isn’t comfortable riding 3100 miles on a hard, skinny bike seat to raise money for Blood Water Mission – in the middle of summer – through PHOENIX.  Or smelling the constant reminder of death in Haiti as you dig through hundreds of pounds of concrete.

I realized yesterday that being uncomfortable is a hard thing to do (insert obligatory, “yeah duh” here).  But for me it isn’t the being uncomfortable, it’s the getting there.  Like I mentioned above I’ve had nearly 35 years worth of being comfortable.  My parents weren’t the type to live life spiritually uncomfortable.  We went to church, taught Sunday school, taught VBS day in day out.  That was my life growing up.  Now as of about a year or so ago God’s breaking the mold that has been my existence.  He’s given me a heart for the poor.  He’s made me to fall in love with India and long to see justice for the 50 million plus living in her slums.

I am praying now, with more fervor that God would continue to make me uncomfortable.  It is one of those prayers like praying for patience or humility.  It doesn’t come easily or without cost.  The end result though will be beautiful and for the glory of God alone.

Dear Nikita…

February 15, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, India, Nikita with 2 Comments

I laid awake thinking of you the other night, my dear little girl.  You are literally half a world away.  As I was trying to sleep I imagined that you were playing with your sisters and brother.  Or perhaps you were selling in the market so your family could eat.

As I laid there I went over in my head what I’d do if I were with you.  I’d hug you and kiss you and tell you just how much I love you.  I’d tell you that Jesus loves you so much more than I ever could.  I’d play dolls with you.  I’d tell you that I love your sisters and your brother and your mom and dad -  मां and पिता.  That I love your people.

I’d tell you to dream big dreams and not give up hope.  I’d tell you to love.  I’d tell you I think of you and pray for you every day.  I would tell you just how beautiful and how precious you are.

I love you so much my precious little girl, and though you are a half a world away my love spans that distance many times over.

Like An Armadillo Crossing the Road in Rush Hour

January 28, 2010 in Compassion Int'l, Faith, India, Life, Nikita, On Mission with 0 Comments

I have felt so helpless lately.  It started a while ago seeing images of precious people living on nothing just trying to get by.

It came roaring at me two weeks ago with the earthquake in Haiti.  The images of poverty stricken, broken people floated before my eyes.  I didn’t close the websites or stop reading the Tweets because I wanted to look.

I wanted to be broken over these people.

Last Sunday at church God literally wrecked me.  Our pastor decided to forgo communion after the teaching and allow people to pray for Haiti while worship was led.  We watched this video done by Pastors Mark Driscoll & James McDonald who went to Haiti to help churches just days after the earthquake.  Within seconds of the video starting I was crying.  I hadn’t cried for Haiti yet.  All I could do the rest of the service was cry and plead to God to save:  spiritually and physically.

It isn’t just Haiti though.  It’s all children and families that are in devastating poverty.  That is what breaks my heart.  I want to argue with God and ask Him why are you allowing this to happen to your creation.  Why are you allowing the flesh and blood you wove together to be eaten away by diseases and malnutrition?

Today Shawn showed me pictures that Tony Morgan Tweeted from his trip to Burkina Faso through Compassion.  All I wanted to do besides cry for these children, was bring them into my home and take care of them.  Love them.

I know it isn’t an accident that God has placed these feelings in my heart.  I’ve pleaded with Him over and over to break my heart for the things that break His.  This is an answer to prayer.  Yet, I still feel so helpless.  We sponsor our precious, beautiful little Nikita in India and fully plan on sponsoring more in the future.  Yet, I still feel so helpless.  I pray.  We donate to Haiti, and yet…  I feel like there is so much more I could do and don’t know how or what.

I just want to be open to what He has for Shawn and I.  I guess my feeling helpless means I just lean on Him all that much more and He’ll be the work in me that moves my hands the way they need to be moved.

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