I found out today (Saturday) that a friend of mine “won a car”.  I could not be more ecstatic for her.  My joy over her “winning” far exceeds my sorrow of not winning.

You just can’t steal this joy!  Congratulations my beautiful and dear friend.

(*names have been omitted and circumstances redefined to protect the innocent)

Are you rejoicing over the “winning” in someone else’s life?

Sometimes all we can do is walk.  To put one weary step in front of the other.  Trusting God all the while we experience pain, suffering, loneliness, abandonment, etc.

We persevere.

My dear friend Elora is hosting a month guest bloggers sharing their stories of playing in the pain.  A series born out of this post.  Today I’m sharing my story.

You can read it by clicking here.

I apologize for not being here much this week.  It’s month end at work, I’ve been battling tiredness, visiting with family that is in town, and in truth my heart just hasn’t been in the mood lately.

It’s quiet.  Longing. Withdrawn.

I am going to do my best to post next week.  In fact on Monday I am guest posting at a friend’s site.  Talking a little more about community.

Thank you for coming here and reading.  Thank you for interacting and supporting.

I am selfish, impatient, pride filled, occasionally manipulative, often angry, jealousy ridden.

More that that, I am forgiven, accepted, redeemed, slowly being sanctified, worthy, found beautiful, precious in His sight, worth the price of the land, made new and clean.

As I see more of my sin, I realize more, that I am evidence of His grace.

I have no problems usually asking people for prayer.  I think prayer is a vital part of our community.  It is breath that keeps these friendships thriving.

Today I’m here to ask for prayer for my dear friend Jenny.  She and her friend Susan are boarding a flight today for Africa.  They are going to Burundi, Ethiopia and possibly Rwanda.

I’m feeling the incredible urge to pray for their trip, their time spent ministering and training Christian leaders over there.

So I’m asking you to remember them as they are traveling across blue waters and African plains.  Pray for the time ministering and training.  That God would give them the right words to speak and ears that are open to what the nationals have to say.  Pray that God raise up mighty leaders in these countries and that we would see wave upon wave of lives changed for Jesus.

Also pray for their health.  Jenny came down with a dreadful cold when she was there earlier this year.  Pray for quick adaptation to the time difference both going there and coming home.

They are flying out this later this morning, and will be back in the States November 13th.

Thank you for your prayers I know they appreciate them too.

I get intimidated by people.

Will they like me?

What if they don’t correspond with me?

What if I’m just another number in their count of followers?

What if they’re only humoring me?

The other day I was realizing just how these feelings affect me.  I’ll not interact, or follow people on Twitter because of this.

Because you see….I have been/am that to some people.  Or is that just my perspective?

Example:

I’d seen Tracee re-tweet many different times Stephanie, but I never followed Stephanie.  Until a few days ago.  I decided to just click “Follow” already.  Why had I never clicked follow before?  Intimidation.  Fear [oh there is THAT word again].  Uncomfortableness.  A whole string of what if’s:  i don’t measure up, she doesn’t like me, doesn’t correspond with me, etc. etc. etc. etc.

But I did it.  I followed her.

And guess what….I think she likes me.  She corresponds with me.  Makes comments about my random little tweets.

………………………and she’s incredibly sweet.

It’s easy for me to hide behind my computer.  To not allow myself to connect.  To not allow myself to be in a vulnerable spot, while at the same time being vulnerable in other ways when I write.  The fear of rejection and measuring my worth by people’s interaction with me:  it’s a dangerous road.

One thing I’ve really seen and in part learned over the last week as I’ve re-read these ladies stories, is that community accepts you for who you are, but also walks along side of you every step of the way.  If I let myself be a wallflower the way I so often am in real life away from the computer, I’ll experience the same feelings of rejection and fear.

I can’t we can’t allow our feelings, our perceived perceptions of what others may possibly think of us rule our lives.  If we do we not only can, but will miss out on amazing opportunities.  The problem………I’m guilty of this.  It seems to be an innate part of my DNA.  I will continue to struggle with this.  I will never be the extrovert that clicks follow every time or says hello to someone first.

: | : I’d finished this post this past Friday.  I thought it was done.  Sunday morning Shawn and I were headed to breakfast with my family and then to a farm/kids amusement ride thingy.  I was checking Twitter as the white lines of the freeway passed our tires.  I read THIS tweet by Mandy Steward and it perfectly described what I was trying to say.  Therefore… : | :

I’m messy by nature.  (Shawn is the neat/clean/perfectionist one)  Sometimes my mess is organized.  Sometimes my mess is just clutter.  I don’t necessarily enjoy the clutter but live with it.  Mess though can be defined in a different ways…in relation to Mandy’s tweet and my topic here…it’s the mess of comfortableness, of rejection.  By not stepping into what I view as a “mess” I set myself up for missing out.  Whether it’s blessings, new friends, a word of wisdom, a laugh, etc. and all these reciprocated.

Shall we live just a little bit messy?

Do you struggle with this?

So in an effort to not be an online wallflower, give me one or two people’s Twitter names that you don’t think I follow.
Here’s mine contribution:

Manda:  Thereisatime

Manda is a storyteller with every blog post she writes.  Her posts are deep, passionate, and challenging.

(photo by Shawn)

I’m an introvert, it’s difficult for me to make friends.  To put myself out there, well it’s hard.  Online it’s a bit easier.

When I got the inkling to do this series I started talking about it with Jenny.  We’d discussed on many occasions how we’ve both been blessed by the people we’d connected with through blogging and Twitter. We’d both experienced and developed deep and meaningful relationships not only with each other but with people around the world.

Many people don’t get it.  Don’t get the connection between two people who have never met that live on opposite sides of the world.  And that’s okay.  I don’t get the connection between two football fans, whose bodies are painted with their team’s colors standing in a form of community as they cheer their team on, but that doesn’t mean that connection isn’t there.

Over the last year or so I’ve watched as my local friendships, community have waned.  Friends we always hung out with we rarely get together with.  Other confidants – the return of phone calls ceased to exist.  As these relationships became less close, those online became closer.  I met new friends that I would soon end up pouring my heart and soul out to over email and Skype and text.  I had new friends that were genuinely interested in me and my struggles and joyous celebrations of the faith.  That spent time with head bowed in fervent prayer for me.

This was oh so evident four weeks ago as I tweeted asking for prayer giving no details, only to receive DM after DM from friends saying they were praying and giving their cell numbers telling me to call no matter the time.  Friends that continued to pray as we found out Shawn needed an emergency appendectomy.  Prayed for him and for me.

As my tangent friendships became fewer, God brought ones that I couldn’t touch but that have met me where I’ve been.

Last week at work I was thinking about the people who say you can’t have deep, meaningful relationships with people online.  I started thinking about Paul.  The apostle, the missionary, the church planter extraordinaire.  I realized that he had deep, meaningful, passionate relationships with the congregations of the churches he helped start.  Some of the people he knew, but as the churches grew more he did not.  Yet he still had connection and community even with those people.  His letters to them were full of love, correction, and passion for who these people were and their relationship with Christ.  To either him or the people in the church the miles in between and the the never having met didn’t matter.  They still loved.  They still had community.

I’ve been blessed by so many.  My life has been touched and challenged.  You’ve caused me to think.  To pray.  To cry.  I’ve hurt when you hurt.  Rejoiced when you’ve rejoiced.

Thank you for being community.

A very special thank you to Tammy, Elora, Alece, Jenni, Jenny, & Jen(ny) for joining me in this celebration over the last week.  I’m am enthralled to “know” each of you.  I can’t wait to meet over coffee, dinner, across a living room.  To hug you long and fierce.  To say in person what each of you mean to me.  I am beyond blessed.

With love…Prudy

Jenny has become one of my closest confidants over the last few months.  She’s someone I text when I’m battling a bad mood.  We have Skype dates and though our pups have never met, they’re best pup friends.  Jenny’s blog.  Jenny’s Twitter.

We’ve talked this week about online community.

Is it real?

Is it sustainable?

Does it make a difference and if so, how?

We have heard personal stories, watched beautiful connections develop, and listened as people have expressed why they feel online community is real  or at least real to them.

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Yet is online community practical?

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Because at the end of the day, as much as we love the mooshy-gooshy feel good stuff, we all have lives to live, mouths to feed, and tasks to complete.

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My left-brain wants to know if online community works.

I want to know if online community makes an impact in our practical, everyday life?

I believe that it can and it is.

True Biblical community is supposed to be about life change and life change is exactly what is happening in these online communities.

When Tam received a new bed from her online community and she began sleeping through the night for the first time in years.

When Elora and Russ shared on their blog some of their very-real financial struggles and watched as a community of folks showed up with practical assistance.

When Alece stepped off the plane into the awaiting arms of an online community she was meeting IRL for the first time… and then watched as God used that community to support her through the crucible of a valley-experience AND came together at a bloggers meet up to raise funds for Thrive Africa, a ministry she started in Africa.

When Jenni and Brian renewed their vows surrounded by several of their best friends – who two years prior had only been known to them across the blogosphere.

When Gitz was surrounded by the (in)courage reader community during the loss of her sweet father.

And as several of us have made the trek overseas on mission, how a loving online community came together to pray for our journeys and do guest posts while we were gone.

True biblical community is what the church is called to be to each other.

Church is happening online.

It is powerful. It is real. It is good…

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In closing… I will share my unfolding story of the power of online community in creating life-change.

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I am a regular reader at the Ragamuffin community, not only because Carlos (@loswhit aka Los) is hilarious and impacting simultaneously, but also because the group of Ragamuffins there are really good peeps.

For the last several months I have been looking, praying, researching for a DSL camera because I want to be able to capture the essence of “moments” whether they are on the field in Africa or in my back-yard.

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Last week Carlos posted a blog entitled Share your Photos and Gear and the Ragamuffins shared!

One reader – Jay – shared this:

To which I replied:

Two hours later – I had purchased a Nikon D700 and it is on its way to me TODAY!

Just in time for my Burundi trip next week

With camera case, strap, and a gogillian memory cards thrown in out of the goodness of Jay’s heart.

All at a great discount “Because I was a fellow Ragamuffin”

Not once was I worried that he was a scammer, because he was a part of this great community I loved {Plus, knowing Los and the community, if Jay was a scammer… the community would have united in protest!}

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So now I have the big-girl camera I’ve been looking for just in time for my Burundi trip at a cost that I could not have even gotten on e-bay.

A practical-solution to an every day need.

A solution generated by online community.

An event that will undoubtedly be transformational as I step into this new season of my life.

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Does online community work?

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Yes.

All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. Acts 4.32 (NLT)

Lisa Jo, Tracee, Alece, Jenny

I connected with Jen through Alece.  It was through a video stream interview with Alece that I made my first Twitter friend in OZ.  I love the how she shares her experiences over miles/kilometers of oceans. Jen’s Blog.  Jen’s Twitter.

Bloggy-Twitterverse Interwebs

I opened my first online diary on August 17th 2004.

Lets take a look at those arguments

Firstly, we need to define real.

A couple of definitions there are

1. Being or occurring in fact or actuality
2. True and actual; not imaginary, alleged, or ideal
3. Genuine and authentic; not artificial or spurious

But the one I loved the most is

Existing objectively in the world regardless of subjectivity or
conventions of thought or language

Jenni’s story inspires me in what community is and should be.  It is a story full of grace and redemption.  I’m inspired also by how she’s opened her home and heart to people she’s met on Twitter and blogging for months at a time.  Jenni’s blog.  Jenni’s Twitter.

If someone told me that I would have found some of my closest and most trusted friends via social media 5 years ago… I would have laughed in their faces.

I’ve always had friends. It’s always been important to me to be surrounded by people. But no matter how surrounded I was, I usually felt pretty alone. However, I believed as long as I was surrounded, then at LEAST I would look normal… whatever that means.

It wasn’t until I confessed my BIGGEST MORAL FAILURE, did I begin to realize how alone I really was.

Besides about 5 friends, the friends I had, or use to have, around me no longer seemed interested in being around me. I’m not sure if it was because they were hurt by my decisions, didn’t want to be associated with such a public sinner or if it was because they just didn’t know what to say. Whichever way, I totally understood and counted it as a consequence to my poor choices.

I was alone. I was hurting.

But then God.

God took this time to not only reveal loving friends I never new existed, but He showed me who my real friends were. My true “besties” rose to the surface. And guess where many of us had met?

… ON EACH OTHERS BLOGS AND ON TWITTER.

These people not only prayed for Brian and my restoration, but they called, emailed, texted and encouraged us. There were days I wasn’t sure I had a friend in the world. Heck… my husband didn’t even like me. And I deserved it. And at those darkest moments, Trish or Tam would call. Or Crystal would text. Or Diane would DM me (just to name a few). And I knew…

… Though I was lonely… I wasn’t alone.

Last May, Brian and I renewed our vows. Our ceremony was intentionally VERY small. We only invited the people we felt were instrumental in our healing process. Our angels.

For the first time ever, I feel filled and surrounded more often than I feel alone. Life is SO different now.

“Human life in common is only made possible when a majority comes together which is stronger than any separate individual and which remains united against all separate individuals. The power of this community is then set up as “right” in opposition to the power of the individual, which is condemned as “brute force.”" ~ Sigmund Freud

Community has nothing to do with what is around you as much as it includes WHO has infiltrated your heart.

Community is who you let in.

Community is a reflection of you when you finally choose to be real and honest about who YOU are.

Community is what you were born to be.

The rest of the series:

Tammy ……… Alece ………Elora ……… Jen Sparks ……… Jenny Schmitz