The Beauty of a Decade

May 26, 2011 in Love Letters with 9 Comments

Ten years.  One decade.  4,017 days.

Ten years that number seems impossible.  Yet ten ago today became the happiest day of my life.  Dressed in white with purple toes, and blue flowers in my hair – all I wanted was to be his wife.  The wait, hours that dragged by as I waited for the clock to strike.  Checking for perfectly red lips in the mirror and tapping nails.  My feet were never cold and neither fear nor apprehension were my bedfellows.  I wanted to marry this man and I was completely unashamed.

A remix of Sarah Brightman’s This Love filled the pre-summer warm air and my anticipation grew as I made my way down the aisle.  I nearly forgot to look at him.  I just wanted to be with him.  There he stood handsome, with a heart full of love just for me.

With veil covered face I pledged my love to him through tears of joy – it was an ugly cry with puckered bottom lip.  This was the husband I’d prayed for.

Ten years later I still pledge that love, and he his to me.  That this man loves me – loves me more than the day we wed still brings tears to my eyes.

We began our journey with the seal of a kiss, and a declaration that he was taking me home.

I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine.

It’s been a beautiful decade.

Happy anniversary my beloved.

Rehydrated Faith

May 17, 2011 in Faith with 21 Comments

We reach with nimble fingers.  Trying to grasp that which seems fleeting.  When we think we have hold, like a sieve faith slips through.

With tears we fall.  A hard thump on to dusty, cracked soil.

The difficult moments of life always seem to hit at once.  Gathered into a pothole on this road are loss, pain, exhaustion, confusion…and the list goes on – until we find ourselves drowning in everything.  It jumps us up.  Detours our otherwise peaceful life.

We are not necessarily doubting that
God will do the best for us; we are
wondering how painful the best will turn
out to be. – C.S. Lews

This week.  The past seven days have been hard.  Have been stress-fllled.

With two car accidents in less than 36 hours.  Tensions that arise in marriages because of such situations.  Friends who experienced attack after attack in the span of less than 12 hours because they are pursing what God has called them to do.

We reach.  Our nimble fingers sore.  We fall.  We cry out to Jesus.  The one we always need.  At times our faith seems as dry as the ground we’ve just collapsed on.  We see brokenness and chips where lush green grasses once filled our hearts.

And as we lay there.  Tears that stain our cheeks and our hands slowly seep into the dustiness, rehydrating our brokenness.  Faith comes in, in the stillness.  Between the sobs for mercy.  She rests her never weary hand on our shoulder, then takes our hand.

Secure In The Dark

May 13, 2011 in Family with 12 Comments

Darkness covers us with only the glow of the clock illuminating the room.  I close my eyes.  I open them.  I squeeze covers tight against me.  Anything to block the feeling and “seeing” the impact.

I roll over – my muscles aching – and reach for his arm.  I call out his name and ask if he would pray.  These vulnerable hours in the loneliness of the dark overwhelm my weary being.  I lay my head on his chest as his words of gratitude for safety and belief that He is greater wash over me.  His whispers for peace of mind and heart fill me as they rise to Heaven’s gates.  I lay there a few moments longer after “amen” has been said.  I hear his heart beating and I think how I love that sound.  The comfort and security that exists when I’m in a position to hear it.

While marriage isn’t always blissful, and living with another sinful person is one of the hardest things I’ve done it’s these moments I cherish.  Moments when nothing stands between us.  When tie that binds our hearts tightens.  We stand together.  We stand and put the most simplistic faith and trust in God.

Diversions

May 12, 2011 in Life with 10 Comments

Sometimes life goes crunch.

Sometimes cars go crunch.

Sometimes life comes crashing at you like a vehicle into your rear bumper.  The scream of bending metal and squealing tires.  Everything around you going flying by and the aching of your body.

This is the way life goes some times.  We go along only to be hurtled forward by an unexpected force.

It seems that things like this come into our lives when we’re actively seeking God about something or pursuing something.  The enemy attacks trying to divert our attention from what we’re seeking God for.  Little (or big) distractions.

When life crashes into you how do you continue to press on in spite of diversions?

Happy Birthday Nikita

May 9, 2011 in Family, India, Nikita with 4 Comments

Today a beautiful girl turns 11.

She means more to us than we could ever explain.

She is like a daughter.

Happy Birthday Nikita!!

Surgery

May 6, 2011 in Faith, Life with 20 Comments

Sometimes the truth hurts.  Sometimes it cuts like a dull knife working its way through lies that your heart wants to hold on to.  Millimeter by millimeter it slowly severs the tendons of the lies.

It’s not always easy.

…………but it’s always necessary.

Sometimes it’s so much easier to believe the lies the enemy tells us.  That God won’t answer our prayers.  He plants seeds of doubt that bloom into giant trees of discouragement.

Sometimes it’s just easier to believe the lies, than to trust God’s faithfulness.

In the last 24 hours a mass accumulation of discouragement from multiple things came down upon me like a rock.  I filled up a page in my journal of all my feelings.  Line after line of I feel’s.  I’m not discounting my feelings or discrediting them, but if you were to read them you’d see my lack of trust & my lack of faith.  You’d see that it’s easier for me to believe the lies than believe the truth.

So right now – with the prayer of faithful friends & a godly husband – I’m undergoing the scalpel.  I’m trying to believe the truth in the midst of the easy lies.

Would you pray that I (we) would have increased faith and disbelieve the lies the enemy tells?

Selfish Lamentations

May 4, 2011 in Faith with 7 Comments

I lament my situations.  I complain in my trivial pressings – whether aloud or screaming to myself in my head.  Exhaustion, stress, the sick-and-tiredness of having to be an adult and have grown up responsibilities.

How I wish to swing on the air and feel the wind whip across my face.  To run away and sit in my pity party.

To dwell in my selfish lamentations.

I forget the non-trivial situations that others live with daily.  Those who choose joy when their only travels are through internet explorations.  Or those who don’t measure their worth by the material possessions that where whipped away by mighty tunnels of wind.  These who cry out like Paul that their momentary strife is nothing compared to knowing Jesus and finding their worth in Him.

I am reminded again of my selfishness.  Of the sin that still dwells within me.  And it is that – my sin – that I should lament.

A May Hello

May 3, 2011 in Uncategorized with 21 Comments

I honestly can’t believe it is May 03rd, and we are literally on the cusp of summer.  This is a busy month for us.

  • Mother’s Day (I was a little taken aback that it is this coming Sunday I thought for sure I had another week.  Will be buying gifts this week.:-/)
  • Birthdays – THREE!  My Brother, one of my three sister’s in law, and one of my six nephews.  I ended up putting all my nephew’s & my niece’s birthdays with years in Evernote because the only one I can remember how old he is is my oldest nephew because he was born the year after we got married. [edit: and apparently i've forgotten my brother's birthday in my old age.]
  • Anniversary!!!!  Shawn and I celebrate 10 years of marriage.  If it’s hard to believe that it’s already May o3rd, the fact that we’ve been married 10 years (together 14) is mind blowing.  Besides Jesus, he is the best thing to ever happen to me.
  • Anniversary trip.  We always try to go out of town for our anniversary.  We have a couple places in mind we just need to work out the logistics (money) aspect and make a decision.
  • Plus I still need to share about our trip to Austin.  Please — let me know when life slows down.
  • Shawn and I are praying over some things in our lives and God’s leading in them.  I appreciate your prayers too.

I hope you all are doing well.

So tell me what has been going on in your life?
Are you planning anything fun for over the summer?

Meet Our New “Daughter”

May 2, 2011 in Compassion Int'l, Family with 3 Comments

Shawn and I are huge supporters of Compassion Int’l.  Two years ago this past Saturday we started sponsoring Nikita.  She has touched our lives in ways we never could imagine.

For the last several months we’d discussed sponsoring another child.  We fully believe that we are called to care for the poor, and want to be obedient to God’s calling.

We decided a few weeks ago that we wanted to sponsor an older child through the term of their time with Compassion.  Older children are less likely to be sponsored.

.

Since April 30th is the anniversary of when we started sponsoring with Compassion we decided to make that our consistent sponsorship date.  We missed that date by one day due to a busy day Saturday.  We sat down last night and sponsored this lovely young lady, Delinah.  She is 19, and  lives in Kenya – southeast of the Ugandan border.

We are thankful that God has brought her into our lives.  And for the few short years we are able to sponsor her I pray that we can be a blessing to her as she is to us.

 

Elements of Grace: Grace From the Law

April 28, 2011 in Grace, OneWord with 5 Comments

For the last several weeks I’ve been reading through Leviticus. One of four books with 613 laws handed down by God to the Israelites through Moses. God was often repetitive making evident that the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law was crucial.

With consequences of death for breaking most of the laws it is easy to see that God was not only serious, but demanded perfection if one were to have communion with Him. And because He knew these sinful people could never reach perfection He established the sacrificial system.

In reading 3,451 (+/-) years later I can’t but help but to be over thankful for Christ’s death and resurrection. For the grace & mercy that was poured out as He breathed His last breath and three days later triumphed over death as He took a first renewed breath.

I’m constantly amazed at this grace. Grace that doesn’t demand that I make sacrifices to try and appease God, but a grace that indwells within me a desire to do His will simply because I love Him and He loves me.

How have you seen this grace from the law play out in your life?
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