Back in June I wrote a post about not walking in fear.  I had just come out of some circumstances that left me breathless.  I’d walked in fear and my post was about how God had given me grace and courage.

Fear affects everyone.  From being afraid of heights to phobias that prevent us from leave our houses (Agoraphobia).

This week I will be doing a series on fear.  Fears that rip at our souls and haunt us, that leave us broken.

A look at this week:

Tuesday: Review of Anne Jackson’s book Permission To Speak Freely
Wednesday:  The Haunting & Unrelenting
Thursday:  Defined by Courage – guest post by Sarah Markley
Friday:  Moving Away

I want this to be a place where we can talk.  On Wednesday I’ll be offering a chance to confess your fears.  To get them all out on the table so to speak.  On Friday I’ll be offering a chance to give encouragement and reflection.  I’ll explain more both at those times.

Thank you for taking this journey.  I look forward to the conversations that will take place.

I just read a headline regarding the Jesse James/Sandra Bullock breakup.  He was being quoted that “He threw his marriage away.”  I was like yeah.  You did.

For some reason most couples in which one spouse had an affair, refuse to reconcile.  This is of course especially evident with celebrities.  Whether the spouse who cheated apologizes or not, the marriage is over and the family is left in ruins.  Neither party is willing to try again, to repent, and do what it takes to make the marriage work a second time.

Over the past few months I’ve seen how God can begin to heal and cause reconciliation in affair ridden marriages.  Couples who have come out on the better side, working vigorously with God’s help to make their marriage work a second time.

Chad & Sarah Markley are one of those couples.  Sarah was one of the first people whose story I read.  Chad and Sarah have taken great measures to insure the safety of their marriage.  Click the link on Sarah’s name and watch the video.  Listen to what they have to say has a couple, five and a half years after she admitted her affair.

Seth & Amber Haines.  Amber’s story was the first one I read.  Amber’s words blew me away that God can reconcile broken marriages.

Brian & Jenni Clayville.  I’ve only somewhat recently become familiar with Jenni’s story. Jenni had been in an affair for two years when she finally came clean, yet she and Brian are an amazing testimony to God’s healing.  On February 11, Brian re-proposed to Jenni and tomorrow in front of family & friends that have come as far as Australia will renew their vows.

God never intended for husband and wife to separate.  These couples marriages have spoken volumes to me.  God can and does heal marriages.  If only more people would realize that.  If only more people would put aside their pride and apologize (repent) and forgive.

The last thing I want to share is something that Chad said in the video.  He said that their secret was “they were willing to do whatever it took to make it work.”  That is key to every marriage not just ones that are rebounding from an affair.  Marriage takes work, but it’s worth every bit of work.

I don’t take compliments well.  I don’t know why, I just don’t.  Which is weird since my Love Language is Affirmation.  I don’t know how to respond when complimented.  I feel…………weird.

My husband is my greatest fan and the major source of all compliments.  He makes me feel loved (see previous paragraph mentioning love language).  Shawn leaves for work before I do and is home before I am.  In other words there are 10 hours of the day he doesn’t see me.  He sees me at the end of the day with worn makeup, flat hair where it’s supposed to be poofy, rumpled clothes.  He finds me beautiful.  In that moment.

Today (Monday) was one of those days.  I was satisfied (settled) with what I’d chosen to wear – which as ladies know can mean going through your entire wardrobe twice before finding something – my skirt probably could have stood to be ironed and my bangs hidden forehead could have definitely been less oily.  Yet, Shawn’s response when seeing me was that “I looked good” (husband speak for beautiful).

Shawn’s favorite word for me is fancy.  To him everything I do is fancy.  I joke with him that I could be in a gunny sack and he’d still think I was fancy.

I may never be able to take compliments, and never think of myself as fancy, but he does and that makes all the difference in the world and makes me feel loved and beautiful.